Download Abundantly Simple: Everywoman's Gratitude Journal by Helen Kafka, Laura Hellen PDF

By Helen Kafka, Laura Hellen

A spoof of the famed Oprah-book easy Abundance and different self-help books focusing on the modern girl.

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I'm grateful that, during our holiday in Pamplona, my second husband Lenny's new motorized wheelchair allowed him to run with the bulls. DECEMBER 22nd Bellevue, New York City, New York I'm grateful that there really was toast burning. I'm grateful that the jacket provided by the State not only extends the life of my manicure, but also keeps me from cheating on my diet. I'm grateful my new medication helps my multiple personalities to agree on where to call for take-out. I'm grateful that I got my shoelaces back today.

I'm grateful that a martini glass can double as a denture soak. I'm grateful Cosmo taught me to always be prepared— I'm never without a corkscrew, a string bikini or Feena-Mint. DECEMBER llth Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota I'm grateful that each time I pronounce "Cuomo" correctly, the producers let me drive the live-eye remote. I'm grateful for Sports Guy Steve's hot trifecta tip. I'm grateful that even during the winter months I can maintain my tan with the satellite dish. I'm grateful that, during rush hour, Chopper Dan can report on a three-car pile-up and an overturned tractor trailer and still get us our bagel order before the coffee is brewed.

MAY 20th Sherman Oaks, California I'm grateful my new cosmetic surgeon, Julio, has eliminated my need to blink. I'm grateful that my lip-enhancement surgery was a success. Thanks to the new line of anti-rejection drugs, my body accepted the fat suctioned from my half-sister Edie's thighs. I'm grateful that my doctor is so compassionate; along with the Prozac, he gave me three repeats on the diuretic. I'm grateful my six-digit income allows me to be checked in to Cedars-Sinai for "exhaustion" whenever I feel a little over-tired.

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